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"I don't know what to do"
At The Instinctual Parent, We Believe You're an Amazing Parent Who just Needs a little Help Unlocking Their Instincts...
When we hear the word ‘parenting’, we immediately think about children whom we need to lead, nurture, grow, and at times 'fix'.
But in fact ‘Parent-ing’ is everything to do with the Parent...
Otherwise we would call it 'Child-ing'??
Parenting is the biggest opportunity given to a person to make transformational change in their lives. Parenting is a massive challenge that we need to face consciously with the intention to better ourselves so that we can pass on wisdom, kindness, love, and lessons we had to learn the hard way..
Here's the thing... as humans we all have instincts, we are born with these; they are there for the purpose of our survival.
And parenting is no different. As a mother, when you hear your baby cry you immediately want to check on them, pick them up, love them, make sure they are taken care of and know they are loved... But society and our conditioning tell us we should. They tell us we should 'let them cry it out' as that will somehow 'teach the child to not be so needy'
But let me ask you... if you are scared, if you have a bad day, if you need help, if you are sad... If you husband or partner 'let you cry it out', left you alone, ignored you... How would you feel?
I bet you'd be pretty upset.
Now empathise with a baby, a young child who hasn't learned to to ask for help in any other way that to cry and be needy, how much could that affect them?
And you don't see the affects until years later when we have anxiety, depression, chronic pain, relationship issues, confidence & self esteem issues...
Overtime, through years and generations of trauma, we have moved further away from our core instincts and more toward a daily state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn.
We’ve stopped listening to our intuition and our calling as we are consistently being conditioned to care more about the judgment of others and to put our needs, values, boundaries last so to not be selfish.
In doing this, we’ve lost sight of the basic understandings of the core human needs such as love and connection.
A parent’s true instinct is NOT to let their child keep crying and not pick them up - this is our conditioning. A principle taught to try and 'apparently' help children learn a lesson...
A parent’s true instinct isn’t to go into a physical battle with their kid when they don’t listen.
A parent’s true instinct isn’t to yell and scream and punish their kids.
Because if all these were true, and were in fact instincts deeply embedded in us then we wouldn’t be spiralling into feelings of guilt, shame, blame straight after.
This conditioning doesn’t serve us and in fact disconnects us as a whole. We are faced with more problems in the world than ever before as most of us are living unconsciously.
And so we have parents who are trying to just survive day by day with their kids, not knowing what to do, all the while doing what society pressures them to do, what society deems as ‘right’ and we take away the voice, the instinct the parents themselves hold within them.
I believe that every parent is doing the best they can from the resources they have.
And that’s it!!! “THE RESOURCES THEY HAVE”
Which is why I created the
Instinctual Parent Community
...to guide YOU
to open you up to your
Hey, I'm Delsey! Health Professional, co-founder of PracticeOwner.com & founder of InstinctualParent.com
I love to travel and am currently living in New Zealand with my husband James and my two little boys, Milan (3) and Roman (1).
With over 10 years of clinical experience I have helped thousands of families with stress, trauma, anxiety, mood, pain and healthy habit formation.
And through my own experiences clinically & personally..
I found that a lot of the causes came from our early experiences in life which are shaped a lot by how we are parented.
This pushed me to create a method parents could trust to get results for their families and finally create peace at home.
At The Instinctual Parent, we believe you're an amazing parent who just needs a little help unlocking their Instincts... where you too can learn to foster co-operative & harmonious relationships with your children.
The InstinctualParent.com Community is where you'll get access to all of our most up to date trainings, mini-courses, and Guides meant to help you overcome your biggest parenting challenges.